Holy cow. We haven’t done a Weekly Thing in what seems like forever. But just like I noted in my State of the Viking Freak Address, it’s time to go again. Or, in the words of a famous philosopher I once knew — We’re back just like we said we’d be back. You can leave now and beat the traffic …
If you can’t finish that line then either you’re too young, too old or too stuffy. Come off it. Bloody hell.
We’ve been watching The Great British Baking Show on Netflix and all it has really done is remind me of how unsteady my Viking hands are when it comes to decorating baked goods. Which then reminds me of how much I love baking. Which then reminds me that Thanksgiving is upon us. Which then reminds me that a bunch of y’all are freaking out.
I want to use the Weekly Thing this week to tell you guys to stop. Just stop it. If you look at your Thanksgiving Day spread and see carbs and starches and weight gain and water retention and cheat meals and “being bad” then just fucking stop it.
It’s one day. One day of overeating (probably). One day of pretending to like half (or more) of your family. One day where it’s not only acceptable, but encouraged to double or even triple up on pie. If you’re attempting to count calories or watch your macros, you’re doing it wrong so stop it. If your weight loss or fitness journey gets in the way of you enjoying a day off with your family and friends, then buzz off. You hate good things.
I’m not going to pump you full of lies about the Pilgrims and Native Americans or tell you it’s all about a god or a savior. I’m not going to ask you to post one thing you’re thankful for every day on Facebook and I’m not going to shove a cornucopia up your ass, though that would be extremely funny.
What I am going to do, however, is tell you to just be cool. Thanksgiving is a holiday unlike any other. It’s one of only a few holidays that only we know in the United States, and while I’m anti-patriotism and anti-nationalism, I still think it’s a cool thing and something worth celebrating. However you do it — with friends, family or — as I have done in the past — on a beach far away from family sipping Cabernet and munching on pizza bites. You don’t have to go overboard, just take a day to be still and appreciate something for christ’s sake.
And when the day is done, you go into a food coma, take a long nap, watch some football and then brace yourself for Black Friday bargains you can’t refuse. And if you absolutely must burn off some of that Turkey Day indulgence, you’ll have a couple of opportunities to do so with me!
Here’s what I look like this week:
Monday (that’s today): 5:30pm Boxing Technique Class at TITLE Boxing Club
Tuesday: Incline Bench Press Day, deload style
Wednesday: 5:45am Boxing at TITLE Boxing Club; Front Squat Day, deload style; 7:00pm Boxing at TITLE Boxing Club
Thursday: Turkey Day, y’all
Friday: Shoulder Press Day, deload style; 4:00pm MMA at TITLE Boxing Club
Saturday: REST (I think)
Sunday: Deadlift Day, deload style; 11:30am MMA at TITLE Boxing Club
I nearly killed a guy last week with a boot-camp-inspired workout that I plan to share in this blog pretty soon. Related: the current program I’m on. It’s a doozy, it’s amazing, and I think y’all will dig it.
I’m also extremely thankful for the little freaks that have made this traveling side show possible. I never thought I’d be so into fitness or helping other people enjoy it. TITLE Boxing Club merely gives me the platform, you guys give me the motivation and I thank you all from the bottom of my very strange heart.